Seized by the Mystery
-from the Jacob Wrestling series
ht.: 23"/58 cm
Finally I've found a space to be alone at the end of a hard day. I've
just begun to relax when suddenly I'm jumped by some monster out of the
darkness and my face is in the mud, pitched into a battle with
something I cannot see, but which, throughout the long, sweating night,
seems bent on killing me!
As I grow older, I'm aware that each
major struggle I undergo takes on these same familiar characteristics.
And so Jacob wrestling with the angel becomes an increasingly poignant
metaphor for me. Every personal conflict begins to look like that
legendary one, with its many facets: Jacob wrestles an angel who's just
as afraid as he is. Jacob wrestles his own fears. Jacob tries to kill
the angel, who is instead making love. The angel gently allows Jacob to
defeat himself. Jacob, remembering the consequences of stealing his
brother's blessing, stifles the angel's blessing. Jacob and the angel
rest, exhausted in each other's arms, like lovers after passion. Jacob,
by the light of morning, discovers he's been wrestling… himself.
I am wounded in the fight and will limp ever after. But it's not until
later that I realize that I wasn't really wrestling with another person
but with some spiritual creature, and that I, too, have been blessed.
And I can never really remember who won.
-detail of the whisper-